Orange Wednesday!

Orange Wednesday. The one day of a week where all of life's outcasts, socially inept, cheap, ignorant, intolerably stupid pompous wazzacks find their way into the heart of the movie industry, to spend an hour or so attempting to fill that black hole with the enjoyment of annoying me! I am quite certain that there are underground circles that get together to try and find the best way to drain the life, and will power from cinema staff! I am positive that the customers on an orange Wednesday are the sole inspiration for J K Rowling's Death eater! For many, Orange Wednesday comes once a week. for those who have the misfortune, it may as well be everyday. as every other day during the week, is essentially a build up to Wednesday!

The following is a guide for those of you that insist on going to the cinema on a Wednesday, not only for your benefit, but largely for the benefit of the cinema staff!

1. get your code ready, before joining the que! DO NOT wait until you are at the till to send the message, they do not always come through straight away! Have it ready to use when you arrive at the till!
2. equally as important as the last! Send for the code! do not say "I'm on orange" or show your sim card! this is not how it works!
3. If you are not on orange, DO NOT ask if you can have a free ticket anyway!
4. DO NOT attempt to use and orange WEDNESDAY code on any day other than Wednesday!
5. DO NOT try to explain how the orange 2 for 1 offer works to the staff! I'm quite certain they are more of an authority on the matter than you!
6. If you want 3 tickets ask for 3 tickets! DO NOT ask for 2 and orange Wednesday. this implies that you want 2 tickets!
7. know what film you are watching! DO NOT get to the till, ask for "3 tickets on orange wednesday" and then expect the staff to know what film you want to watch!
8.if you are stupid enough to not tell the staff what film you want to watch, DO NOT expect them to laugh along when find it highly amusing! you are just an idiot!
9. if you are asked where you want to sit, it is because it is allocated seating! DO NOT then ask "do I have to sit in the seats?" "why? is it busy?" "can I not just sit anywhere?" "I'll just sit wherever when I'm in there" believe me, the staff do not ask this for fun!
10. when asked where you would like to sit, DO NOT attempt to be funny ans say "on a seat"! it wasn't funny when the first person said it today, it won't be funny any time after that!
11. when the staff ask for the money, DO NOT be surprised at the price! things are expensive!
12. DO NOT say things like "I remember when it was £3.00 to watch a film! especially if you are in your early twenties.... It's called inflation! deal with it!
13. DO NOT tell the staff that it is cheaper at another cinema... if it is, GO THERE, the staff member does not care if you watch the film here or elsewhere!
14. DO NOT ask the staff member if they have done they're job right, because you think the price is too high! deal with it!
15. when you are asked for your code, DO NOT hand over your phone! read it out! people don't want to touch your phone
16. If the numbers are to small for you to read out, you should have brought your glasses!
17. DO NOT ask for orange Wednesday and then ask if the staff member needs the code! Of course they do!
18. if you have an old phone, get over it, DO NOT make a joke about how old your phone is! it's not amusing!
19. If the film is sold out, DO NOT blame the staff! Wednesdays are always busy! plan accordingly !
20. If you are told there are seats in the front row ONLY! DO NOT ask if there is any seats anywhere else! You was just told there are not!


Follow these guidelines and I assure you that you will get through que a lot faster, have a more pleasant time, and most importantly, you will not cause anybody working to want to bang their head against a brick wall!

you have been warned!